January 8, 2015

Blogging is not my strongest suit.  Here goes another attempt.....  

Over the years certain phrases have been particularly poignant to me.  When I was first diagnosed with Lupus, a friend of mine asked me if I had figured out my "new normal."  In that instance she was, of course, speaking about what physical pain would be "just the usual" and what would be more than usual living with Lupus.  However, I can see the application of this question in so many other areas of my life.  It is now my favorite "go to" question.  As our children get older, and as our family changes with each new stage in their lives I am constantly evaluating our family based on the question of whether or not this is "a new normal."  

When I regard things that (as in the serenity prayer) I need to accept and I cannot change, I accept those things as our new normal.  I suppose that seems so simple and a little rhetorical.  It is probably what sane people do subconsciously. However, in the past, I have found myself stuck in a destructive loop of thinking that life basically stays the same and we all just have to "get through the tough stuff." I see now that those tough stages create permanent changes in all of us.  Regardless of how I react, if I fight it or if I learn from it, it will still create a "new normal" in my life.  There is no "going back." There is no "the good ole' days."  Trying to go backwards in life is like trying to undo plastic surgery.